I'm 9 weeks tomorrow and already am starting to show.
Hmpf.
This is SO lame.
The idea of showing during pregnancy is one of the more exciting things - don't get me wrong.
It's the part where you feel really productive, like you're really ARE pregnant.
And less like the fact that your boobs are sore ALL THE TIME for no reason at all.
But part of what makes "showing" exciting is that people know you are pregnant just by looking at you.
A fact that I would like to avoid until I've actually TOLD people.
So, for the time being, I'm digging up all my looser fitting clothes, and hoping that people will think that I'm just fattening up for bikini season or something.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Ultrasound #1
I don't think much prepares you for the moment you see your baby for the first time on an ultrasound.
And to hear their quick little heartbeat pounding so steadily?
No. No matter how much you might think you're ready, that moment is truly unique and beyond description.
WARNING: This is where I start talking a lot about pee. If pee or talking about pee bothers you, then please don't complain to me about it.
Our first ultrasound appointment started out innocent enough. We got to the appointment on time. I dutifully drank the 14 gallons of water I was asked to drink in advance. Something about having a full bladder makes for a better ultrasound.
I think they make you do it just so they can crack cruel jokes at your expense while checking you in.
"Ok, I'm just going to need your insurance cards...would you like some water while you wait? No? You sure?"
Ha ha. Funny funny.
So we got checked in and were seated and waiting to be called in by 10am.
By 10:25 we still hadn't been called in and while Trevor was sitting, I was doing more of a constant shifting in my seat.
At 10:30 the nurse came out to tell us that there was an emergency patient and they would be another 30 minutes. To her credit, she DID say I could go pee if I needed to. I would just need to drink more water.
I opted to stay put and try to not think about my aching bladder. I had already had one close encounter with nausea after glass of water #6 and did not really feel like drinking any more. It was either hold it, or pee but drink more and risk vomiting it all up - and being forced to drink MORE after that.
11am rolled around and we still weren't called in - so I checked in at the front desk only to find out it would be another 20 minutes.
I informed the admin that I found this information very unfortunate given the fact that they made me drink 8 glasses of water this morning, made me live with a full bladder for 2 hours, and are now telling me that it's going be be another 20 minutes. Supposedly.
She was so kind to tell me that if I wanted to relieve some of the pressure I could pee 1 cup if I like.
1 cup?
I'm thinking to myself - how's she going to know how much I pee?
And as though she knew what I was thinking - she reached under her desk and pulled out a giant paper cup. On the cup she drew a line, handed it to me, and told me to pee to the line.
People. If you have ever been in a position where you have to pee REALLY badly, has the idea of being able to STOP the flood gates ever seemed feasible to you?
Well, I suppose when you are desperate, AND don't want to fuck up your ultrasound after already suffering for 2 hours...you will close the flood gates with every ounce of your being.
So I "relieved" some pressure and miraculously they called me in after the 20 minutes.
By this point I was so tortured from holding my pee that my kidneys started aching.
You have never known such weird discomfort in your lower back as having your kidneys ache.
Fortunately they only needed a full (ha) bladder for the first few minutes - and then they let me run to the ladies room.
And my god I have never known such pain coupled with relief.
When I came back to finish the procedure I was feeling pretty irked at the whole experience, having been made to wait for over an hour and a half with a painfully full bladder.
That is, until the tech got started and I looked at the monitor and saw what was quite clearly and remarkably my baby.
And then, as if that wasn't crazy enough, out of no where I started hearing this quick and steady heartbeat - something I wasn't even sure we'd be able to hear so early in the development.
161 beats per minute - absolutely perfect.
2 centimeters long - just 8 weeks old.
Suddenly your world turns around and all you can think is that this has got to be one of the most miraculous things in life.
What bladder?
And to hear their quick little heartbeat pounding so steadily?
No. No matter how much you might think you're ready, that moment is truly unique and beyond description.
WARNING: This is where I start talking a lot about pee. If pee or talking about pee bothers you, then please don't complain to me about it.
Our first ultrasound appointment started out innocent enough. We got to the appointment on time. I dutifully drank the 14 gallons of water I was asked to drink in advance. Something about having a full bladder makes for a better ultrasound.
I think they make you do it just so they can crack cruel jokes at your expense while checking you in.
"Ok, I'm just going to need your insurance cards...would you like some water while you wait? No? You sure?"
Ha ha. Funny funny.
So we got checked in and were seated and waiting to be called in by 10am.
By 10:25 we still hadn't been called in and while Trevor was sitting, I was doing more of a constant shifting in my seat.
At 10:30 the nurse came out to tell us that there was an emergency patient and they would be another 30 minutes. To her credit, she DID say I could go pee if I needed to. I would just need to drink more water.
I opted to stay put and try to not think about my aching bladder. I had already had one close encounter with nausea after glass of water #6 and did not really feel like drinking any more. It was either hold it, or pee but drink more and risk vomiting it all up - and being forced to drink MORE after that.
11am rolled around and we still weren't called in - so I checked in at the front desk only to find out it would be another 20 minutes.
I informed the admin that I found this information very unfortunate given the fact that they made me drink 8 glasses of water this morning, made me live with a full bladder for 2 hours, and are now telling me that it's going be be another 20 minutes. Supposedly.
She was so kind to tell me that if I wanted to relieve some of the pressure I could pee 1 cup if I like.
1 cup?
I'm thinking to myself - how's she going to know how much I pee?
And as though she knew what I was thinking - she reached under her desk and pulled out a giant paper cup. On the cup she drew a line, handed it to me, and told me to pee to the line.
People. If you have ever been in a position where you have to pee REALLY badly, has the idea of being able to STOP the flood gates ever seemed feasible to you?
Well, I suppose when you are desperate, AND don't want to fuck up your ultrasound after already suffering for 2 hours...you will close the flood gates with every ounce of your being.
So I "relieved" some pressure and miraculously they called me in after the 20 minutes.
By this point I was so tortured from holding my pee that my kidneys started aching.
You have never known such weird discomfort in your lower back as having your kidneys ache.
Fortunately they only needed a full (ha) bladder for the first few minutes - and then they let me run to the ladies room.
And my god I have never known such pain coupled with relief.
When I came back to finish the procedure I was feeling pretty irked at the whole experience, having been made to wait for over an hour and a half with a painfully full bladder.
That is, until the tech got started and I looked at the monitor and saw what was quite clearly and remarkably my baby.
And then, as if that wasn't crazy enough, out of no where I started hearing this quick and steady heartbeat - something I wasn't even sure we'd be able to hear so early in the development.
161 beats per minute - absolutely perfect.
2 centimeters long - just 8 weeks old.
Suddenly your world turns around and all you can think is that this has got to be one of the most miraculous things in life.
What bladder?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Subtlety is key
For the time being it's just the little subtle changes that I'm noticing.
My appetite was the first thing - going from not being interested in eating a single bite of food to ALL OF A SUDDEN having the hunger of 15 year old boy in, oh, about 10 seconds. I still haven't learned to keep snacks in the car for when the sudden hunger occurs. Saturday I was THIS close to pulling over at an In 'n Out Burger and ordering 2 cheeseburgers animal style with a side of fries when I wasn't sure I could make the 20 minute drive home.
The next thing I noticed was the increased body temperature and heart rate. I'm like a walking furnace most of the time - which is kind of a nice change from the walking Polar Ice Cap I'm used to being.
The heart rate thing is a bit of a nuisance though since I already have to watch my pulse when exercising given that I'm pregnant. Which means that since I've already got a slightly increased heart rate and I can only let it get so high - I can only go so fast on the machines at the gym.
Which means I basically look like I'm running in slow motion through Jello.
And for the last little neato-bandito side effect of baby making that I've been enjoying lately is the mental spaciness.
The fact that I was actually able to make it through this blog entry without either getting side-tracked, derailed, or forget what the hell I was doing altogether is pretty miraculous.
In fact, pre-pregnancy, I was pretty guilty of committing all 3 offenses on a regular basis.
Perhaps this is having a counter-effect on my blogging?
In any case, it's pretty annoying.
The other night I almost stopped at the grocery store to pick up some avocados to have with our dinner - when I knew we already had 2 at home because Trevor picked some up for me the day before. And I totally would have gone and bought them if it wasn't for Trevor REMINDING me that we already had some.
The other day after I went to the gym at lunch, like I have for YEARS, I was getting ready for my shower and discovered that I hadn't packed a towel.
I can't even begin to chip the iceberg on all the brain farts I've had at work.
And what's worse is that no one knows I'm pregnant yet so they must just think I've turned into this flaky space cadet.
I feel sorry for my coworkers.
My appetite was the first thing - going from not being interested in eating a single bite of food to ALL OF A SUDDEN having the hunger of 15 year old boy in, oh, about 10 seconds. I still haven't learned to keep snacks in the car for when the sudden hunger occurs. Saturday I was THIS close to pulling over at an In 'n Out Burger and ordering 2 cheeseburgers animal style with a side of fries when I wasn't sure I could make the 20 minute drive home.
The next thing I noticed was the increased body temperature and heart rate. I'm like a walking furnace most of the time - which is kind of a nice change from the walking Polar Ice Cap I'm used to being.
The heart rate thing is a bit of a nuisance though since I already have to watch my pulse when exercising given that I'm pregnant. Which means that since I've already got a slightly increased heart rate and I can only let it get so high - I can only go so fast on the machines at the gym.
Which means I basically look like I'm running in slow motion through Jello.
And for the last little neato-bandito side effect of baby making that I've been enjoying lately is the mental spaciness.
The fact that I was actually able to make it through this blog entry without either getting side-tracked, derailed, or forget what the hell I was doing altogether is pretty miraculous.
In fact, pre-pregnancy, I was pretty guilty of committing all 3 offenses on a regular basis.
Perhaps this is having a counter-effect on my blogging?
In any case, it's pretty annoying.
The other night I almost stopped at the grocery store to pick up some avocados to have with our dinner - when I knew we already had 2 at home because Trevor picked some up for me the day before. And I totally would have gone and bought them if it wasn't for Trevor REMINDING me that we already had some.
The other day after I went to the gym at lunch, like I have for YEARS, I was getting ready for my shower and discovered that I hadn't packed a towel.
I can't even begin to chip the iceberg on all the brain farts I've had at work.
And what's worse is that no one knows I'm pregnant yet so they must just think I've turned into this flaky space cadet.
I feel sorry for my coworkers.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Listeria Hysteria
Here's a little interesting piece of information that I imagine NO ONE KNOWS: When pregnant you should abstain from eating deli meats.
Stop this pregnancy train - I want OFF.
When I read that in one of my 241 pregnancy books I had to reread it.
3 times.
In fact, I read it 3 times - put the book down, went about my business for a couple days and then had to reread it AGAIN.
Deli meat??
Apparently since most deli meats are not in fact COOKED - but SMOKED - they can harbor Listeria. A little nuisance of a bacteria that we pregnant ladies like to avoid as it does things like make us unpregnant.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Trevor was so kind as to point out this would also include Salami and Prosciutto - 2 of my favorite sandwich fixings.
I was relieved to hear that I can at least eat these items as long as they are cooked thoroughly until piping hot. So I can still have Pepperoni on my pizza, and Prosciutto in some of my favorite Prosciutto-laden recipes.
But no turkey sandwiches? No Ham and cheese paninis?
Why was I not WARNED?
I want legal recourse!
And damn it - this is making me HUNGRY.
Stop this pregnancy train - I want OFF.
When I read that in one of my 241 pregnancy books I had to reread it.
3 times.
In fact, I read it 3 times - put the book down, went about my business for a couple days and then had to reread it AGAIN.
Deli meat??
Apparently since most deli meats are not in fact COOKED - but SMOKED - they can harbor Listeria. A little nuisance of a bacteria that we pregnant ladies like to avoid as it does things like make us unpregnant.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Trevor was so kind as to point out this would also include Salami and Prosciutto - 2 of my favorite sandwich fixings.
I was relieved to hear that I can at least eat these items as long as they are cooked thoroughly until piping hot. So I can still have Pepperoni on my pizza, and Prosciutto in some of my favorite Prosciutto-laden recipes.
But no turkey sandwiches? No Ham and cheese paninis?
Why was I not WARNED?
I want legal recourse!
And damn it - this is making me HUNGRY.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Could be worse
Pickles and string cheese isn't really all that bad of a food craving.
I can't really complain.
For a first food craving, I'd say that's pretty simple and benign.
Other than the fact that pickles are just SO CLICHE.
That and I'm at work where there are neither pickles, or string cheese.
Son of a BITCH.
I can't really complain.
For a first food craving, I'd say that's pretty simple and benign.
Other than the fact that pickles are just SO CLICHE.
That and I'm at work where there are neither pickles, or string cheese.
Son of a BITCH.
I need to eat. All the time.
One of the first things I’ve read about a proper pregnancy diet is that the whole idea of eating for 2 is bull shit.
Yes ladies – for those of you who thought that getting pregnant meant that you could throw all caution to the treadmill gods and toss back a pint of Cherry Garcia with a side of Thin Mints – I’m here to tell you to do a little research first.
In the first trimester you only need to tag on an extra 300 calories per day to your normal daily requirements. This means that by most standards you should only consume around 2300 calories a day.
And graduating to your 2nd and 3rd trimesters doesn’t mean you get to add many more calories either.
Before I got pregnant and I read about this I thought – ok, no problem. I’ve been watching my diet for years. I can certainly keep things under 2300 calories.
What I didn’t expect was that I would have the opposite problem; that it’s harder for me to actually make sure I eat THAT many calories.
Yes, you read that right.
I am having trouble getting enough calories each day.
I will try to explain.
But I must warn you – this could be lengthy.
When you get pregnant all of a sudden your body becomes this science experiment. And if you’re like me, you start reading.
All the time.
There will be (at minimum):
- 3 books sitting on your toilet tank in case, as you are jumping out of the shower, you need to read up on when you should feel the first kick
- 4 books on your nightstand as a quick reference for when you wake up in the middle of the night wondering when is the best time to start shopping for a stroller
- 1 book on your kitchen table to read while eating cereal
- 2 books on your coffee table to flip through while your husband has chosen something annoying to watch
And one of the most common topics in all the aforementioned literature is what not to do while pregnant.
Or, more specifically, what not to eat.
Basically over processed food is the devil.
Chips, crackers, breakfast bars, just about anything in the snack isle at the supermarket – are all the devil’s sidekicks. Does it have more than 10 ingredients? Then it’s probably full of ingredients that are questionable on the pregnancy food list.
So this means that I, someone who is used to CUTTING her calories, is now having to consume more calories than usual – and do so by eating healthy low-calorie foods.
And?
I’m still exercising because what is one of the other popular topics in all my pregnancy books?
How important it is to exercise while preggers.
Which only increases my daily calorie needs even more.
As a result I am walking around feeling FULL all the time.
Speaking of which...I should probably eat something.
And then there were 3
I'm starting this blog under odd circumstances - with the intention to not show anyone for a while.
I'm writing for no one I suppose.
Just myself.
And as something for those of you who do eventually start reading this blog to look back on. To retroactively read about all boring things I thought were interesting enough to blog about.
Yea for you!
And why am I keeping this blog all to myself for the time being?
You just don't broadcast your pregnancy the minute it happens.
You wait.
And wait.
You wait until science tells you that the odds are in your favor that you will carry to term.
And when you're in the same boat as I am right now, 6 weeks pregnant and trying to do the thing that is easiest to live with, you will read a litany of advise on when and how to tell everyone.
But out of all the different theories, timelines, and advice I've read, there is one that makes the most sense to me.
Only tell those you would be willing to tell you had a miscarriage.
If you loose the baby you will have to relive the cruelty of the miscarriage over and over again with each and every person you told you were pregnant. Because you have to untell them.
They say it's a personal choice. When and how you tell your friends, family, and co-workers is up to you and depends on your own personal circumstances.
And Trevor and I have decided that given our tendency to be a very private couple, we are waiting until our odds of miscarriage have dropped dramatically.
And there you go.
So now I am forced to blog to myself.
So I have SOMEONE to talk to about all this.
I'm writing for no one I suppose.
Just myself.
And as something for those of you who do eventually start reading this blog to look back on. To retroactively read about all boring things I thought were interesting enough to blog about.
Yea for you!
And why am I keeping this blog all to myself for the time being?
You just don't broadcast your pregnancy the minute it happens.
You wait.
And wait.
You wait until science tells you that the odds are in your favor that you will carry to term.
And when you're in the same boat as I am right now, 6 weeks pregnant and trying to do the thing that is easiest to live with, you will read a litany of advise on when and how to tell everyone.
But out of all the different theories, timelines, and advice I've read, there is one that makes the most sense to me.
Only tell those you would be willing to tell you had a miscarriage.
If you loose the baby you will have to relive the cruelty of the miscarriage over and over again with each and every person you told you were pregnant. Because you have to untell them.
They say it's a personal choice. When and how you tell your friends, family, and co-workers is up to you and depends on your own personal circumstances.
And Trevor and I have decided that given our tendency to be a very private couple, we are waiting until our odds of miscarriage have dropped dramatically.
And there you go.
So now I am forced to blog to myself.
So I have SOMEONE to talk to about all this.
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