All I needed was a little fix

Today has turned out to be a great day.
Brace yourselves - because a lot of you will think I'm insane - but today was SO great because I went back to the gym for the first time in 7 weeks and 4 days.
I love the gym.
The gym keeps me sane.
It's the place I have gone to on average for 5 days a week for the past...holy shit...7 years? Michele, you're going to have to help me out here because it's your fault I ever went in the first place.
The point is, the gym and I have been long time friends. It's been one of the most consistent parts of my life that I've had. And to take over 7 weeks off made me feel as if I was neglecting myself. It has been something that has been so much a part of my daily life - and to suddenly go without it left a distinct void in every day.
It almost felt strange that I was busy recovering from labor and delivery and going to the gym wasn't part of the process. To me getting a workout into my day helps me de-stress. I can sweat it out and relax my muscles. During some of the most tiresome and stressful times in my life I would go to the gym, get in my workout, shower, put my feet up, and feel some of the greatest relaxation ever.
I know there are people out there who will insist that 'I just had a baby - of course I should relax' and 'you're body just went through a tremendous ordeal..'.
And yea yea yea, I know. Blah blah blah.
But I was feeling damn good about 3 days home from the hospital - so it felt odd to not be going.
Cut to over 7 weeks later and I've been going a little stir crazy lately with just walking keeping me going.
And naturally my body is used to the 5-day a week workout, so my metabolism is shot to shit.
I've been jonesing for a good workout for about 4 weeks now.
So like a heroine addict stealing his grandmother's TV, I've been spending the past couple of days pumping milk so I would have enough to leave in the fridge for Trevor in case Zach needed a feeding while I was gone.
I fed Zach, suited up, pecked both my boys on the cheek, and off to the gym I went. And for 1 hour I stepped back in time. I went back to a time before Zachary, and it was so familiar and so comforting. I spent an hour reconnecting with my old self. Someone who I haven't missed per se - but someone I wouldn't mind visiting for an hour a day, 5 days a week. Someone who I'd like to remember, because even though I've been redefined as a mommy, I'd also like to keep a part of my old self - the part that felt sexy and energetic in her own skin. I may be a mom to Zach, but I'm still my husbands wife. And more importantly I'm still a woman that I care about and want to respect when she looks in the mirror in the morning.
And now I'm back, showered, feet up, and the sounds of snoring from the living room serenade me. My men are crashed on the couch taking a hard earned snooze.
It's hard when mom goes to the gym.