Sincere Flattery - and a letter to Zach

I hate to imitate given that I prefer to be creative and unique on my own. But in this case I simple can't resist ripping off Dooce and writing a monthly letter to my son. First of all it's a great idea, and secondly it's the best way I know how to keep track of all these wonderful moments and memories that Zach and I are creating daily.

So here goes...

Dear Zach,
Today you turn 1 month old and weigh 11lbs even...
And as though you remembered how hard it was for me one month ago today giving birth to you, you gave me a break this morning and woke up quietly and sweetly and as I roused to the sound of your little critter-sounding noises I thought about how I am one lucky Mama.
This month has been a very busy one for you, and one full of transition for me.
For me, becoming a full-time stay at home mom to you has pretty much met my expectations. It has it's moments of when I'm trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to brush my teeth, or when I'm trying to decide just how miserable we'll be if we go without coffee for a couple more days and then you surprise me (and hell, I surprise myself) and we somehow manage to not only practice good oral hygiene but also go to the store. And it’s those moments that I am full of pride in both of us because as trivial as these activities may have been before you came along, I now realize just how complicated they can be when you have a little companion in need of your constant love and attention.
But overall the transition has been an easy one I was apparently ready for - and thank god for that.
You are without a doubt the most entertaining science experiment your father and I have ever attempted.
Hell, we're still shocked that we managed to conceive a baby. So imagine our surprise just about every day when we look at you, with all your perfect fingers and toes, with your little innie belly button, with your dark head of sweet smelling baby hair - we just simply feel astounded most of the time that we managed to produce something so wonderful out of virtually thin air.
And I can't believe I just used the word 'hell' in a letter to my infant son.
Anyway.
In just one month you've managed to surprise us further, as if creating you wasn't enough of a shocker.
It seems as though every day you become just a little more playful. You have a whole collection of noises that I've learned to identify with different emotions and needs. And they continue to bring a smile to my face each and every time - like the ridiculous new parent that I am. You've also been working on your smile most recently. It still seems like a fluke facial reaction that you don't quite have control over, but it's there and every once in a while we're surprised with a glimpse of what your little face will look like lit up with a smile. We're looking forward to the coming month or so when you'll actually learn to make that smile pop up at will. And you certainly are entertained when I smile at you with my big sappy mothering grins.
I'm happy to report that you love to take baths. Your first couple of weeks home you could have done without the terrible technicality of having to get clean periodically. We'd sponge you off, gradually moving on to dipping you into a little wash basin after your umbilical stump fell off - and you hated it. You'd cry that alarming cry of yours that we've come to learn is your 'I'm being serious you assholes' cry. By week three I thought you were big enough to break out the fancy baby tub, complete with infant sling, to bathe you in. I had a grand idea that perhaps you would feel more comfortable in this than slipping and sliding in our hands. I made the big mistake of trusting one of those fancy rubber ducky temperature thingies - the kind that has a big "HOT" sign that glows if the water is too warm. I took it a little too literally, and when it said "hot" I assumed (like the trusting consumer that I am) that the water was too hot and I added more cold water. You cried through that entire bath - much like your previous baths - and I assumed you just still weren't digging the baths yet. That is, until your father came and stuck his hand in the water and pointed out that I wouldn't enjoy taking a bath in that water either. Since then I've put your dad in charge of filling your tub with water, and coincidentally you've started to love your baths. In fact I love your baths as well. There's nothing greater than watching you kick and make 'cooing' noises and I could just eat you up each and every bath time. And your dad has not hesitated in giving me shit for the water temperature mishap once, so we all win.
And thank god for your bouncy seat, for without which I would not get showers, eat more than an apple for lunch, and we would have no clean clothes. You love that little seat and can waste 30 minutes kicking and making delighted sounded noises as you learn that when you kick you then bounce. More recently I sometimes catch you looking at the little grasshopper toy that dangles in your field of vision. Or dragonfly. Or whatever kind of generic insect it is. And we sometimes talk about how is unidentifiable and how it's a good thing your mother didn't go into Entomology because not only would that be a really boring profession, but I would be no good at it.
Of course your first month in this world has had a few bumps. About two weeks ago you started suffering from gas which doesn't look like any fun from our perspective. You power through it like a real trooper though; you've always been so mellow and calm. But I hate seeing you squirm and cry when it's really bothersome. And now it seems like you're getting used to it, or maybe the pain isn't as bad. Which to a new mom is a real relief considering that every day I hope it doesn't get worse and turn into the dreaded colic. And I don't discount the fact that you could develop colic at some point still, and I cross all my fingers and toes that you don't.
And then there was the moment a few days ago when I knocked a canister of tennis balls on your head. You kind of didn’t care for that all that much either.
Forgive me my little peanut – we’re new parents and still learning the ropes.
And apparently I am still learning about gravity.
All the love and kisses possible,
Mama

The view makes all the difference

I am typing two handed this morning because I've learned a valuable thing...sometimes all a baby needs is a change of scenery to stop crying.
When Zach was about a week old we broke out the bouncy chair, put him in it, and set it on vibrate. Much to our delight we found that he could be occupied like this for about 30 minutes - enough time for me to take a quick shower and eat breakfast in the morning, completely independent of Trevor. So for the past 2 weeks I've been putting Zach in his chair just outside the bathroom door and enjoyed a shower and then breakfast while he kicks and makes cooing noises. This all works out rather well as I can see him from the kitchen table through the bedroom door, and he usually starts fussing right as I'm clearing my dishes.
This morning I was feeling a little ballsy and decided to blow dry my hair, which meant that about halfway through breakfast Zach started fussing.
Rather than scoop him up to feed him as I normally do, I decided to experiment - because that's all child rearing really is as it turns out: a big experiment. I picked up Zach while still in his bouncy seat - something I'm sure the manufacturer warns against - and set him down in the kitchen with me.
And just like that he was back to cooing and kicking like before.
And he's still cooing and kicking as I'm typing - because this change of scenery just bought me another 30 minutes it would seem.
I wonder if a move to the living room would buy me another 30...

Stretching our legs

Entering motherhood for the first time you very quickly come to realize how much of your life must come to a standstill to make room for taking care of your little one while recovering from labor.
You realize this pretty much the first day home from the hospital when you first learn that going to the bathroom means either finding someone to hold the baby or listen to him cry whole-heartedly the entire time.
Which reminds me of something else you will quickly come to realize: hearing your own baby cry is totally heart wrenching and you begin to see how easy it is to spoil a baby.
And hold it as long as possible when you need to pee.
Once I saw how much of my daily activities ceased, I sort of took some enjoyment in it. My daily routine no longer existed, and going forward it was now going to be me and Zachary feeling out our new daily routine. And there may not even BE a routine for a while.
Cuz babies or so totally unpredictable - realization #3.
So here we are, embarking on a new adventure every day. And with each morning we consider what we're feeling up to accomplishing throughout the rest of the day. And as the days go on, we accomplish a little bit more.
Last week we finally walked all the way to the park next to the beach. Zach was feeling quite lenient about letting me walk that far - as he slept the whole way and only woke up to fuss when we got close to home. Our next goal is to actually make it all the way to the beach and walk along the pathways there. As Zach's naps are becoming deeper and longer I think we may be able to accomplish this in just a few days.
This week we were able to go to the grocery story for a long shopping trip - something I used to procrastinate on, and now it's something I find myself taking pride in.
That'll wear off fast I'm sure. But in the meantime, I don't mind being easily amused.
And today we made it on the freeway and actually drove 15 minutes to Target for a short shopping errand.
So very decadent.
My little co-pilot is becoming very generous I must admit.